It's not about you

I don't even know where to begin on these last 2 days we've had! Lets start with day 4 (Thursday)  

Sooo Thursday we spent the day at the orphanage, as usual, playing, laughing and just making memories! I can't get over how adorable and loving these kids are, you seriously can't ever get enough! We spent the afternoon making lanyards, you know the ones we were all obsessed with in elementary and middle school? Yeah, those. I think I had a total of 20-30 kids come through to get string while Beth started it for them-- they have no sense for personal space lol by the end of it I had to take a giant walk to just breathe! So overwhelming. For dinner, we went to Pizza Hut -___- that was a huge and annoying ordeal. First of all, it's like a real sit down restaurant, and considering I already don't eat Pizza Hut to begin with, it's weird to me that it's even full service lol so they gave us menus and we ordered... Well, my table ordered an order of breadsticks, two strawberry juices, two waters and two medium pizzas.... Well, while everyone else was already getting their appetizers, we hadn't even gotten our drinks yet... And for anyone who knows me, you know how I am about poor service. Such a pain. Like we're a big group but they wrote down our orders and everything and they still messed it up! But anyway, our breadsticks didn't come until after our pizza did and they weren't even good!! Needless to say, that dinner was much less than ideal. We all went to back to the hotel, had our team meeting and then dispersed... And the adults went for a night out at a bar/restaurant next door to our hotel, which was a BLAST! I LOVE being considered an adult! I won't go into detail but it is a night we won't forget for sure! ;) 

Also, I definitely packed two bottles of shampoo and no conditioner -_- aaaand they don't have robes, so I had to completely dry off, get dressed and go find a friend to use her conditioner with a towel on my head  (she's Colombian so our hair is very similar..thank god) but like really?! That's just my luck! Ridiculous lol 

Day 5 (Friday):

Yesterday was our last day at the orphanage ... And you truly don't realize how attached you get to these kids. We had our usual day full of activities and almost too much love and snot (preschool) and then for what would be the recess time, instead the kids put on traditional songs and dances for us, which was absolutely adorable and so so cool to see! I will post pics of it later since I'm on my phone and not the computer! 

But, then the hard part came: saying goodbye. It's funny, most of the people on this trip don't speak any Spanish and almost none of the kids speak English, yet we were all just as heartbroken over having to leave. One kid was upset because not only had his family come to visit him earlier that day (the Colombian government has much different rules on custody and visitation in orphanages than we do in the states..) but they left and then on top of that we were leaving too and he just lost it. We had kids just crying into our shoulders... We are the one constant that these kids have and look forward to each year. And yeah, it's cool for us to be able to come here but the impact that we make and the legacy that we leave behind with them, is so much more. The bus ride to dinner was completely silent and I don't think we had a dry eye on that bus... It's definitely life-changing and reopens our eyes as to why we came here in the first place. And I think that we definitely succeeded. 

And while most of these kids are devastatingly not considered "adoptable", we found out that they sit at lunch and in class and talk about how one day when they get adopted, its going to be by an American family and that their new family will be awesome... Because they have yet to understand that they can't all be adopted...6 And that is such a harsh reality.. I couldn't even begin to imagine being in their shoes, or to think that I could have been in their shoes had I not been lucky enough to be chosen through Gladney to have a better life. I just... I can't even put it into words the pain, the heartbreak and the little bit of hope you feel being here...

At the beginning of our trip our team leader and Gladney president, Frank Garrott, gave us a talk the night before our first day at the orphanage about keeping in mind that this trip is not about you. And that if you can keep that in mind throughout, not only this trip but also in life, you will get a lot more out of experiences like this one. You may be cold or tired or hungry or in pain, but keep in mind that when we leave that orphanage at the end of the day we do go back to something better.. When the majority of those kids won't. We have more than one outfit for every day of the week or even month, we have more than 1 pair of shoes, proper healthcare and families who love and who are able to care for us.. 

I dunno. I could go on and on about it but I think it's one of things that you think you know about but really you're not even close until you experience it up close and personal...

Today is Saturday and its our last day in Colombia. We have mountain biking, rock climbing and then an adventure to the Catedral de Sal, which I am so pumped for and will add more to this post tonight :) 

"Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

No it won't all go the way it should

But I know the heart of life is good"

--Heart of Life, John Mayer